I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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