dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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