carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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