Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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