Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
