It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
