I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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