I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize