Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
