I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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