Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
