cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
