I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
