We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
