wrigley field is MILF paradise
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
