That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
