my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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