I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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