he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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