Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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