it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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