so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
