We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
