Old men and throwing up are my life now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
