I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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