Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
