That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
