Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
