I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize