no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
