i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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