this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
