like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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