Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
