More tranny stories later!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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