this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize