I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
