Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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