Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
