I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
