i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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