do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
