I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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