I skipped work to stalk him.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
