Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize