dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
