you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
