Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize