Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
