I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
