We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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