On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
