i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
