I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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