There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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