Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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