So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
