jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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