O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
