The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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