making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
