it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
