dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i think i have two assholes
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He did a backflip because drugs
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