Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
