He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
