And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My penis needs a shock collar
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
