I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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