Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
